it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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