My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I still have a little drunk in my system
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
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