I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
