Me too!
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
