You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
