She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
