I just cut my nipple shaving
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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