I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
