oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
