do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
