She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
They took my balls.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
