I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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