all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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