Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
He literally asked permission to hit on me
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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