the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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