What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
