Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize