I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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