I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
