I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
