Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
