I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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