If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Girls should come with a carfax report
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Randomize
