I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
