Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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