I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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