Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
