Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
