Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
