Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
