Buhtt sex?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I will be naked everywhere
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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