dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
