It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
There's always time for handjobs
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
