Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
The feeling are messing with the penis
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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