he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
