i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
