If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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