I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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