I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
