I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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