Only a mothe r could love this liver
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
