You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
