oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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