Who did Billy Mays play for?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
