Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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