That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize