Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
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