I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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