she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
