He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
