Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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