Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
