i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
