Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
