let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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