just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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