I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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