Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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