Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
