HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
