It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
