I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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